The newsstands have no shortage of home-decorating andremodeling magazines.
From kitchens to bath ideas, country clear through to Victorianstyling, one thing never ceases to amaze me about these publications:How in the world can these homeowners afford to redecorate theirhomes and replace every solitary thing they own?
"Well," Mr. and Mrs. Average Homeowner confided to the editorsat Home Extraordinaire, "we decided that we wanted a 700-square-footfamily-room addition with cathedral ceilings and skylights to let thesunshine in."
Don't we all.
Unfortunately, daydreaming in these beautifully photographedpublications gives me a headache as I reconcile caviar tastes with aK mart budget.
Remodeling in the real world means a lot of things that themagazines neglect to mention: Eating plaster dust for three years. Replacing just one kitchen appliance at a time. A nifty newalmond-color fridge often has to co-exist with an avocado green ovenand a harvest gold dishwasher. And that's if you're lucky enugh to have such a contemporary colorscheme; I'm living with turquoise and powder pink. Disguising nail-hole marks with tartar-control toothpaste andspringing for new paper for the kitchen shelves. Financing necessary home improvements that no one will ever notice.Few visitors comment, "What fabulous new pipes you've installed."
Not only do these dreamy magazine layouts make remodeling lookso picture-perfect, they also make it look so incredibly easy.
If I ever attempted such a project, it would take me 6 1/2 yearsto finish, during which the rest of my housework would go to pot andI'd have captured the look of assorted pet hair tumbleweeds undereach successive coat of varnish.
I'll have to cancel my subscription to Condo Magnificent andtake it one decorating step at a time. Who knows? Maybe avocadogreen and harvest gold will make a comeback in the 1990s.
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